The Between Now & Then Conversation Starter Cards
Conversations about death and dying can be hard.
Our beautifully crafted collection of 35 Conversation Starter Cards can assist you to
explore valuable conversations about life, death and what’s in between. The cards address a variety of topics and allow for a range of responses including journaling, Art, conversation and creative expression.
The Between Now & Then Conversation Starter Cards are a perfect
addition to your end-of-life toolkit.
A Deeper Dive Into The Cards.
With a breadth of questions that range from the practical to the more introspective and creative, the Between Now & Then Conversation Starter Cards aim to bring forth healthy, honest and robust conversations about life and death and what is in between. They are not prescriptive in nature and can be used in a variety of ways to facilitate a range of conversations and activities.
The Between Now & Then Conversation Cards can be used with anyone at any stage of life, however, they are not meant to be used as a response to a crisis situation or immediately after the person/family members have been given a terminal diagnosis.
Use with individuals, families and others
In informal conversations with individuals, family members or friends, the cards offer questions that will make it easy for people to see what is important to them when looking towards the end of life. The cards will enable people to discover what practical steps they may need to take as well as providing opportunities to look at what is important to them in their current situation and ways to maintain/improve quality of life.
Health professionals and therapists
The cards can provide a valuable facilitation tool for health professionals, therapists and support workers and can be used in several different ways:
With individuals/partners/families
-
As an ice breaker in difficult sessions
-
A contemplation tool aimed at supporting open dialogue
-
A precursor to Advanced Care Planning with family members involved
-
Assist in conversations with seniors about planning for the future, for example, in gathering the appropriate end of life documents such as wills, advanced care arrangements, funeral planning, quality of life activities etc.
Group facilitation
There are numerous ways of using the cards
in group facilitation that offer opportunities
for shared ideas and creating new
possibilities for participants.
For example, they can be:
-
Used in whole group conversations or
sharing sessions that help engage all
participants
-
Incorporated into pre-existing group work as a break-out exercise with small groups
-
Become a jumping off point to address difficult conversations at the beginning of a group work session
-
Used as a less formal way for people to express themselves creatively – through creative expression, journaling, paint or a through a variety of other creative avenues.
Potential obstacles in using the cards
Consider letting clients know that the cards may bring up uncomfortable emotions and remind them that there is no right answer.
When uncomfortable and difficult emotions surface
Workers can give clients time to dwell on questions and to answer at their own pace, perhaps asking the client to think about them at home reassuring them that these emotions are not uncommon.
If a client doesn’t understand the question or why it is being asked the worker can summarize the question and make if specific to the client’s own situation.
If a client becomes upset and needs support after the session .
It may be helpful to refer them to the various help/support services that are local or, as appropriate, arrange a follow up session to work at a deeper level on the questions/concepts raised. A follow up phone call can also be helpful, this may be a time to check in with your client/patient and summarize the topics covered and discuss further action that can be taken as appropriate.
As working with this topic can bring up an assortment of stories, feelings, thoughts and emotions for people it may be important to look contextually at a person’s story.
The reasons why these questions can be hard for people may include:
-
They come from a diverse culture or have religious /faith or traditions
-
They may not have ever thought about death and dying before and they don’t think it is necessary for them
-
They have a history of anxiety/depression
-
They have fears of death and dying
-
They have had very uncomfortable experiences of death/dying with family members and loved ones/pets
-
They may be experiencing trauma or have experienced trauma in their lives
-
They tell you that they are too young to talk about death/ dying
-
They think that people only talk about these issues before they are dying and they believe they are not dying, or
-
They have just been given a terminal diagnosis and they are actively dying.
It may be appropriate to explore the person’s unique circumstances and suggest further psychological support, referring them to a bereavement specialist might be an option or asking the person to seek support from their GP/Palliative Care Specialist.